It was a path that we as a couple were on years ago. It developed while he was deployed. And it slowly faded when he came back; somewhere between trouble reintegrating as a couple and home life and counting the burnt out light bulbs of our current church of attendance after a painful series of trouble with our previous church and a long and tedious search for a new church.
And now that plan is back.
I put it away. I gave up on it. I gave up on understanding my husband's spirituality and hoping that he would lead our marriage to develop more spiritually.
I fell into a different plan of work hard, take care of your family and house and hopefully we'll end up with a nest egg and a nicer and larger house out in the country a bit and we'll live out our days together.
I'm struggling to lay down the current path and pick back up the new/old one that is being brought back up again. I fought for that path. I tried to lead that path. I tried to remind that path. I tried to lead us as a couple spiritually. And I gave up. I couldn't tell for a while if my husband was even following God any more. There was no clear signs either way. After so long it just felt like we were meandering wildly through the woods with no real direction or purpose - just that typical American way of life. I accepted it. I accepted the new path.
Now I'm being stubborn and I don't want to go back. It's too hard in so many ways. I want the easy way.
